Second Impressions...of Pensacola

 

Rules of the Road
(in Pensacola, Florida) 

Don't use your turn signal
It is okay to use the turning lane belonging to the opposite lane of traffic
Text and drive (a lot)
The median counts as a lane
You can turn LEFT on a red arrow, as long as no other cars are coming

If you are over sixty, drive however you want and make sure you honk your horn while doing it

Your car does not need a hood or a bumper to be road-worthy
Up to five cars may go through a red light - as long as they stick together

These are not isolated cases of bad driving that I’ve observed – they are pretty common occurrences. The senior drivers are just rude, but the college students are rude and dangerous.

Florida does not have a vehicle inspection requirement. Every time I’m tempted to think that they need one, I look at our faithful 1992 Toyota Camry, and am thankful that there is no vehicle inspection. After all, it still drives! We call it our beach car, because it’s okay if it gets sand in it…unlike our 2010 Honda Civic, which I’m not even allowed to eat popcorn in. 

In case you are wondering where your tax dollars go, I found out this week. 

Tim is in VT-2, a T-34 training squadron at Whiting Field. The T-34 is a Korean War era trainer turbo prop. Tim has pages and pages of emergency procedures to memorize for this aircraft, because there is no eject option. 

The T-6 is a newer training aircraft, designed by the Air Force, incidentally. This trainer aircraft has one main emergency procedure – eject. Before the student pilots fly this 6 million dollar trainer aircraft, they learn to fly in the T-6 simulators – the 16 million dollar simulators. If a student in this 16 million dollar T6 simulator accidentally touches the screen in the 16 million dollar simulator, his instructor has a heart attack. This is because the entire screen must be replaced at the low cost of 700,000 dollars. They say that in the long run, these 16 million dollar simulators save money.

Although Tim has a ton of stuff to learn, he loves it. He is so excited to finally be studying what he joined for in the first place. He had his first test yesterday on the aircraft systems, and got an A. I am very happy for him! I could go on and on about how smart and wonderful he is (and he is!), but then I remember OCS, TBS, and our stint in California, and I know that it is only by God’s grace that we’ve gotten this far. During each of these training experiences there were times that the training was long, miserable, or unfair, and we asked God to do a special work to get us through. And He did get us through. So here we are!

First Impressions of California

Tidepools at Cabrillo National Monument, CA

First, I owe Mom Horner a big thank you for being willing to travel 2000 miles across the southern US with me. We had a fun time! For everyone out there who likes to drive fast, did you know that the speed limit in western Texas on I 10 is 80 mph? No kidding. Of course, in our new Honda, it didn’t even seem like we were doing much more than 65.

Our first night in Texas, we stayed with Mr. and Mrs. Grauke. We had never met them before, but Tim and I had met their son and daughter in law at our church in Pensacola. Mom Horner asked me if it bothered me to stay with people I had never met before. I explained the military bond. People connected to the military understand other people connected to the military. If you’re a Christian in the military, that bond becomes especially important.

Our second night was spent in Las Cruces, NM. We could see Mexico from the road, and I wasn’t too thrilled about having to drive by so close.

Our third day we got to drive through Arizona before hitting California. We drove by Saguaro National Park and saw a LOT of saguaro cactuses. We also saw a homeless man riding a bike down the highway with a cart attached and a dog peeking out of the cart. I wonder how he could afford to have the dog.

We passed through three border checks in all. The first two were to make sure that we were both US citizens. The third one was a special California check. They wanted to know if we had any fruits or produce with us and where they came from. I turned over a bag of oranges that didn’t have labels, and they explained to us that California had natural barriers that kept out foreign matter. According to Tim, it works both ways. It also protects the rest of the US from California.

Our first night in California I got to stay with Tim in the BOQ (Bachelor Officer Quarters). He had compared it to the Hilton – the Hanoi Hilton. It wasn’t that bad, though. Tim found a hotel for Mom Horner in town. I think she prayed a lot that night – when we drove up, the front of the hotel had scaffolding and plastic flapping around, and it was right next to a seedy looking haunt.

I got to see the Pacific Ocean for the first time on Sunday morning. It was cold. After church we got to eat lunch at Ruby’s, a restaurant that’s perched on the end of a pier. It was a really fun diner with an amazing view – we were surrounded by the ocean and could see the green hills and brown mountains in the distance. Looking over the dock, we could also see surfers. It was my first time to see real surfers, too, standing up on their board and riding the waves just like on TV.

Life on Base

Christmas at 3rd Tracks, Camp Del Mar

I got to learn my way around base by myself. My record for getting lost and turned around is six times in one day. By the end of that day I was feeling very sore and sorry for myself. When I tearfully told Tim, his first inclination (which he did not act on) was to have me to drive it again and then look at a map and see what I did wrong. But instead he bought us milkshakes.

You see, at Camp Pendleton the Marine Corps is very creative when naming streets, for instance, it uses letters of the alphabet, like A Street and B Street. After naming these two streets, they had to come up with some other names, like 11th Street. They really liked 11th Street, so they used it three times, for three different roads on base.

One thing that families do around Pendleton is hang banners for their husbands or fathers that are coming home from deployment. I passed one today with a picture of a baby girl that said,

                         Welcome home daddy.
                         If you thought Afghanistan was bad
                         wait til you see me!!!

Of course, some Marines enjoy being stationed out of the continental US, like the one I saw with a sticker on his truck that read, “Defend Hawaii.”

So, right now, Tim is defending the office at 3rd Tracks, Alpha Company. He doesn’t even get to make copies or fill the coffee machine. Pray for him if you think of it – he’s about to go nuts trying to find things to do.


On the beach at Del Mar - Our Backyard

First Impressions of Naval Air Station Pensacola

Moving in - Moving out - Getting Ready for CA

Wait a minute, I thought he was a Marine. Another truth about military life... sometimes Marines have to train on Navy bases!

Well, it looks like our first impressions of Pensacola are going to be very short, but I'll share them anyway.

Even though we live a little further from base, it isn’t bad – I 10 is nothing like I 95. In fact, here are some of the license plates we saw in the DC area of Virginia:

H8 95N
I H8 I95
I 95 SKS

We were prone to agree.

We have some interesting bill boards here, such as the one on I-10 advertising a box of free steaks - with windshield replacement. Along with windshield replacement, there are numerous paint and body shops along the little back roads - for good reason. While parked at the beach last weekend, someone decided to give us a paint addition on our Camry and didn't think to leave their name or number.

A lot of our neighbors are senior citizens, and are very friendly. Today I met Mrs. Richardson. I told her my name, and she told me how I could remember hers. She bent down and touched both of my knees. Her name is Nini.

Today Tim had a class on alcohol and substance abuse. In order to convince the lieutenants that the class was pertinent, the instructor asked, "Which of you has never gotten high on drugs or drank alcohol?" Out of fifty guys, one raised his hand.

Tim isn't the only one who gets strange looks. I got a strange look from my doctor when she realized three things. A). I'm 23. B). I'm not promiscuous. C). In addition to "B)", I'm also married. Apparently I'm a little out of the national average.

Well, we're settled in here in Pensacola, but Tim found out that he's being moved to California in two weeks - for four months. Lord willing, I'm going to try to follow him out there once he finds a place to stay. We'd appreciate your prayers as we try to figure this out.

You Know that You're Married to a Marine When...

This is what Tim does most days after TBS

1. Your washing machine has a layer of silt in the bottom
2. Your husband's socks are organized by color
3. You must check your husband's dog tags before you hug him (they all look the same from the back!)
4. You multiply a recipe's serving size by four each meal time
5. Supper is any time between 6 PM and 1 AM
6. On some days, you can smell your husband 25 yards away
7. You find that 80 percent of your home video collection is rated R for war violence
8. When things go wrong, you say, "Semper Gumby!"
9. You enjoy driving on base because you get saluted at the checkpoints
10. You know more about your husband's buddies than he does, because you know their wives
11. Your husband doesn't know his buddies' first names
12. You find that timidity is not an option in life
13. The colors of your husband's rainbow tend to be tan, brown, green, olive, and black
14. Going to the shooting range qualifies as a date
15. "Secured" is your favorite word (that means time to come home!)
16. You think your husband needs a haircut if his hair is more than 1/4 inch long
17. The bulk of your shopping tends to be on the 1st and 15th of each month (payday!)
18. Your friends' baby showers tend to coincide with their husband's promotion to captain (twice as much pay as 1st. Lt.)
19. You think that the commissary is the best thing since sliced bread
20. Your husband can't run errands on his way home from work (not allowed to wear camies when off duty)
21. Your husband refuses to use an umbrella (he claims this is a well known rule)
22. Your husband has a dress code, even when off duty (Collared shirt, no flip flops, no rips or tears, no tatoos...)
23. The neighbors can follow a trail of mud from your car to your front door.

More from Tim about The Basic School

Well, a few more observations from not-quite-paradise…

Some of you may have entertained the question, “what’s the difference between your typical McDonald’s-eating comfort-seeking civilian and these camouflaged killers they call Marines?” The following anecdotes may help to clarify the issue.

First, what does your typical McDonald’s-eating comfort-seeking civilian do when forced to be outside when it’s 105 degrees out? Correct. He will put on a favorite old t-shirt and shorts, sip on his icy McDonald’s Frappe, and lounge in the shade with an expression usually reserved for Somalian war refugees, while mentally applauding himself for “enduring through this inhuman weather.”

And you thought he was exaggerating - I took this during Land Nav 2

What do Marines do?

It was our Land Navigation Final Exam, and it consisted of finding between 7 and 10 red ammo boxes in 8 hours in an area that was about 5km by 4km. The fact that it was 105, high humidity, and no breeze didn’t deter us for a minute. Nor did the fact that we were in full woodland camouflage uniforms (sleeves down), or the fact that we had about 40+ lbs of gear. Unfortunately, I started on the side of the training area that had some of the worst terrain that I had ever seen. In some areas, 10 feet was the visibility limit. Worse, Quantico has apparently imported thorny vines and planted them all over the training area in order to drive lieutenants to agonizing despair. That combined with the weather, the gear (which caught on everything), and the inability to find boxes at all made me realize the weakness of the English language. “Frustration” is unsubstantial. “Irritation” has no weight. “Mind-wrenching anguish” might be a little closer to the truth. In four hours, I had found 1 box.

I would like to say that I rallied, pushed on, and ultimately succeeded in finding 7 boxes. In the end, I found 6 boxes in the eight hours allotted before ultimately succumbing to a nice case of heat cramps. Finally, after two hours of staggering through the woods, I made it to a road where I was picked up by part of a search party. The long and the short of it was that ultimately I got to visit the professionals at base medical care, and for the second time in my life I got to experience an IV. And yes, the fact that I failed Land Nav meant that I had to go on remedial on Saturday in order to pass it (it’s a requirement to graduate). To be fair, though, half the company failed, and about 30 people had to go to medical that day.

The interesting part was getting back to the BOQ and hearing some of the other stories from the day. “I wasn’t able to walk more than 100 meters without taking a rest.” “I couldn’t remember which number came after 7.” “I had tunnel vision and lost my depth perception.” “I was unable to write the letter ‘A’ when I found my box.” “I can’t remember much from the day.” “I found four lieutenants down with heat case and had to get help.”

The interesting thing about it all is that we more or less took it as a course of life. “It happened, people. Time to continue with training.” I think that’s what makes the Marines the best. Bad times don’t stop us.

Lts. Goode, Gearlds, Horner

FEX II

One of the things that helps keep life interesting at TBS is that we always have the unexpected popping up and destroying our illusions of control. Case in point: Field Exercise II. We were out in the field conducting operations for a three-day period. One day in the offense, one day in the defense, and one day to pack up and head back.

Item 1: Thunderstorms. There’s an ancient Indian curse on the highlands of Quantico that makes it rain whenever a training company is out in the field. The rule is, the more inconvenient the rain would be, the harder it will rain. We had a regular monsoon going, which gave the plants a new outlook on life, the animals a new place to find water, and the lieutenants a new reason to hate life. The second night, in a spectacular demonstration of Murphy’s Law, it began raining just after we went to sleep. I woke up in an inch of water and spent about 2 hours offering prayers as to why it would be nice for the rain to stop.

That’s when I became acquainted with corollary #1: The remarkable thing about life is that it’s never so bad that it can’t get worse. At 1:00 in the morning, we were awakened to find out that we had a surprise 9-mile hike back to base. Lucky us. Average weight of gear: 100+ lbs. Average amount of sleep over the past 48 hours: 7 hours. Average condition of boots, socks, and gear: waterlogged. The look on the average lieutenant’s face when he realized that this was serious, and actually not some sadistic practical joke: priceless. By the way, there’s a corollary #2: Nature has a cruel sense of humor. The rain stopped just as we stepped off.

Patrolling

I promised a story in the last posting that I wrote, and here it is. My squad was out learning how to patrol. Lt. McCool and I were the right flank guard, which meant that we weren’t always able to see the main body. To complicate things, we were in low visibility terrain (maybe 5 feet). He and I were supposed to keep abreast of the main unit, but due to the conditions, we were unable to see them at all. In the end, we didn’t realize that they had stopped, and we ended up 50 meters in front of them.

Quick rabbit trail. When Marines are unsure who’s around them, they will shout out a sign, e.g. “red.” The challenged individual will give the countersign, e.g. “meatloaf.” The alternate method is to have a prearranged number, for example, 11. The challenger will shout a number, and the challenged individual will give the number that will add to 11.

Well, back to the story, our sign/countersign was apple/Coors. Our number was 9. And McCool and I knew that we were ahead of the rest of the squad and were waiting for them to catch up. All of the sudden, we heard shots from the squad. With a flash of enlightenment, we realized that they were shooting at us. “Stop! We’re friends!” we shouted as we hit the deck.

“It’s a trick! Keep firing!” we heard.

“We are your right flank! McCool and Horner!” we responded.

There was a moment of silence. “Four!” I heard.

Relieved, I called out “Five!” (adds up to 9, remember).

There was another moment of silence. “Apple!” they called out, apparently not yet satisfied.

McCool and I looked at each other, both having completely forgotten the countersign. While I pulled out my notebook and frantically flipped through it looking for the answer, McCool decided that he would give it a shot in the dark. “Black!” he yelled.

I did not know what the correct answer was, but I definitely knew what it was not. There was another moment of silence.

“They’re enemy! Everybody open fire!” We both hit the deck again as the entire squad opened fire.

Suffice it to say, when it was all over, there were a number of learning points on both sides.

One final note

We had our Engineer Field Exercise about a week and a half ago. For those who don’t know, that means a whole day of playing with explosives. I will say this. TNT, det. cord, and plastic explosives are every bit as awesome to play with as you would imagine. And for the interested taxpayer, during that field exercise, we blew up exactly $5,447.47 of taxpayer money.

Thank you all for paying your taxes.

Tim with the MK-19

Marines...from a Five-Year-Old's Perspective

2010 Mayfield Family Reunion, Georgia

The brain processes of a five-year-old are an intricate thing. I have had opportunities to observe this since I give tours to five-year-olds around the National Museum of the Marine Corps. This is a challenging job, especially since most twenty-year-olds aren’t even interested in history. To keep the kids attention, you must give them jobs which help them feel very important and involved in finding historical data. For instance, count the buttons on the Marine’s coat. Then tell your tour guide the color of the ribbon in the eagle’s mouth. Can you count the red stripes of the flag? Who can be the first to answer THE QUESTION?

For these kids, the most exciting part of the tour is not answering THE QUESTION. It is being chosen to answer THE QUESTION. For five seconds, they have everyone’s attention. Mathematically, it is not possible to have everyone’s attention for more than five seconds, because no child can think about one thing for more than five seconds, unless it is in a movie.

When the child doesn’t answer the question, it is okay, because everyone’s answer is a good try, even when they don’t have an answer. The chosen one then decides to wrap himself/herself around the tour guide’s legs, in an attempt to hang on to the source of attention.

For some of the five-year-olds, history can be quite real. The “soldiers” (they haven’t yet figured out that Marines are not soldiers) in the displays are very lifelike. They wonder if they are real people, and ask when they are coming to visit.

To them, history is also quite traumatic. In the early 1900s display, we have a model T ambulance that was used in the Philippines. In the back of the ambulance is a man with a gaping bloody wound on his knee. When the children see this, they look at their tour guide with horror, and ask, “Teacher!!! If he is hurt, then WHY is he SMOKING???”
Well, maybe he thought it would help him feel better. No, you’re right, smoking is bad for you. Okay, next display.

Speaking of children…
If you ever lock your keys in your car on Quantico base, make sure you lock your child in, too, or some prescription medicine. You will want to do this because base security will only unlock your car for you if you have locked your child or medicine in the car. As it turned out, our roadside assistance didn’t go into effect for seven more days. Oh well. And all this after drilling into the kids at the museum that Marines are here to HELP you. But only if you lock your kid in the car.

A Moment in an MP’s Life
Imagine you are a Military Policeman doing gate check one night. You have the late shift (early, depending on how you look at it), and most of the people who come through are officers getting back from an evening in town. And then all of a sudden a female civilian comes through the gate with a plate of food on her lap. You groan and roll your eyes. Eating and driving? How dumb can you get? Then she insists that she wasn’t eating, and that the food is for her husband. You take her ID card, and identify the smart looking woman on the front of the card with the tired, wilting girl inside the car. You graciously remove a piece of rice from the card, and hand it back to her. Somehow, you can just see her in ten years… coming through the gate, grabbing the card out of a teething infant’s mouth, and handing it to you. No wonder they require you to get all those immunizations every few years.

Mayfield Family Reunion
Tim and I got special permission to leave our 300 mile travel radius to go to a family reunion at Unicoi State Park in Georgia. The USMC, which cares very much about our safety, had us fill out a form which stated when we would leave, when we would take a break, where we would be, and at what time we would return. Tim was also limited to driving four hours at a time, and both of us could not drive more than twelve hours in the day.
After Tim got over the initial shock of sleeping in a tent (as opposed to under the stars), the surprise of having showers and restrooms (as opposed to having just the great outdoors), we had quite a great time with the family. One highlight was our hike to Anna Ruby Falls. Instead of driving in to see it, and paying two dollars a person, we saw it the free way – we hiked five miles to it from another direction.

The actual reunion was on Sunday, and we had a picnic at the beach house. Tim got to meet a lot of the family that wasn’t able to come to our wedding, and we had fun catching up. One interesting part of the reunion was when the all the adults sat down to discuss methods to keep unity in the family. Both Tim and I are blessed to come from stable families with loving extended family.

Coming back from beautiful, cool, mountainous, Georgia to Quantico, VA was a leap from paradise to not-paradise, especially for Tim, but I’ll let him tell about that.

More From Tim

There are two major facets of life here at TBS. There’s garrison, which consists of the barracks, the classrooms, the chow hall, and the lieutenants. Then there’s the field, which consists of nature and its inevitable demise at the hands and unbound curiosity of countless lieutenants. A couple stories from each…

GARRISON
So imagine that you have a friend named Alfred. Alfred is a dear friend of yours, and you greatly enjoy his company. You look forward to a long and productive relationship with Alfred. But imagine that there’s one problem with our dear friend Al. Whenever you tell Alfred to do something, no matter how simple and painless it seems to be, you know that in your heart of hearts that something is going to go terribly wrong somewhere. It’s not even that you’re mad at Alfred when he does mess up. There’s only a deep-seated sadness at seeing him creatively fail again. Thus it often is with TBS and chow. For example, let’s take the instance that happened a few weeks ago (and yet sadly is oft repeated). We come back from class around noon.

“Can we go to chow?” someone asked.
“No, we have a class soon,” came the reply.
A few minutes later our chain of command came through the hall saying “go to chow. The class was canceled.”

I went to the Subway on the second floor and stood in line for quite a while. When I was just about to order, my visions of culinary euphoria were abruptly killed when someone yelled, “hey Charlie Company, we have to be in the classroom right now! They canceled the cancelation!” I ran down to my room, got my gear, ran to the classroom, and waited for everyone to show up. When everyone was there, the captain called the student staff together, (you know what’s coming), and told us that the class was in fact cancelled and we could go to chow. The interesting thing was the response. No one seemed the least bit phased. There was just that vague, deep-seated sadness. My theory is that TBS is sort of like kicking small puppies. After a while, the puppy just expects it.

Which leads nicely into the subject of tests. Studying for the tests is not that difficult. I finally figured it out. To study for the tests here, you simply find all the concepts that seem important and/or significant. Once you’ve done that, take a sharpie and mark them all out. Whatever’s left is testable. Here are a couple genuine made-up questions that illustrate our dilemma when taking tests.

Situation: You are conducting anti-terrorism operations in Iraq. Your patrol, consisting of a squad reinforced with an engineer attachment, is approximately 25 minutes away from the nearest supporting element. Your radio is not functioning, and you have just decided to take a security halt for a team photograph.
Question: What is the maximum effective range of the AT-4?
A. Yes
2. The fire support plan
FF. A tourniquet
C. All of the above

Question: Your M-249 barrel is hot. Is your barrel hot?
1. No
1. Enemy situation
4. Combat stress
3. Both A and C

So anyway, we continue our journey to

THE FIELD
Which is where we have epiphanies such as “Huh. I’m spending taxpayers’ dollars to go camping. Cool.” So just over a week ago, we went out to the field to do our live-fire exercise. It started out with all the lieutenants packing into the back of 7-ton trucks. All was well, all was good, another day training, when the corporal tried to close the gate on the back of the truck.

“Gentlemen,” he announced after failing, “I need everyone to lean to the right.”

We did so, and were rewarded with the sight of the whole roof of the truck shifting over. “Thanks!” he said, latching the gate, as the rest of us wondered if this was a portent of things to come. Suffice it to say, on the drive over, we discovered that the 7-ton was not designed from an ergonomic standpoint.

In the Field

Live-fire was a lot of fun for a lot of reasons, not the least of which was because we got to shoot tracers on the range. It’s really neat to be able to see the rounds go downrange, and there was a real feeling of accomplishment among the company when we set the woods behind the range on fire.

The other neat thing about being outside is getting to observe nature close-up and personal. For example, I found out that Black Widow spiders really like hanging out on our flak vests. Simultaneously, I found out that black widows can grow to be the size of my little fingernail. (That’s just the body, for the record.)

Later that day, my happy world was rudely shaken in an unexpected way. I was sitting through a brief when I saw an ant struggling with a crumb about four times his size. He dragged, he hoisted, he struggled, he persisted. He cleared a path and pulled the crumb over a stick 3 times his size. It took him an eternity to move it one inch. Then, just as I was thinking that I had a great illustration for my children someday, he gave up and walked away. I was very disappointed.

It Was a Very Bad Day

It started when I drove onto base that evening to pick up Tim.
I rolled down my window and waited for the police checker to take my card, but he just stood there. Finally, I looked at him.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Yes. Are you okay?” I asked.
“You just seemed a little nervous when you drove up.” He turned to the military police standing behind him. “Didn’t she look nervous to you?”
The MP looked at me and nodded.
“Have you never been on a military base before?” he asked.
“I’ve been on lots of times,” I replied. “My husband goes to school here.”
I started to get worried. Perhaps I had some horrible face-mal-forming disease and was unaware.
“Why, do I look okay?” I asked.
“Fine,” he answered. “Are you nervous because of your rejection sticker?” He pointed to our state inspection sticker in the middle of our windshield.
“No.” I answered. Why should I be?
“Can you tell me when it expires?” he asked.
“The handwriting is too sloppy,” I told him.
He checked, and informed me that it had expired. Then he told me that he would let me go without a ticket.
How heartwarming.

As I waited for Tim, I decided to drive around Camp Barrett and see what there was to see. Camp Barrett could charge admission for people to come and tour some of the craters in their parking lots. But then they had to go and fill them in for the changing of command ceremony. I guess they lost too many lieutenants in the holes.

For a while I parked by the base kitchen. Men in white astronaut suits stood around the entrance looking in. I wondered what was going on inside, and why they had to wear head to toe protection. Can the food really be that bad?

Then a guy walked by talking to himself and holding a box in his hand. He looked upset. I wonder if he had PTSD.

I continued around the loop behind the buildings, and someone honked at me for turning into their lane. I guess they thought it was their turn.

I made my way to the front of the buildings, and saw a line of lieutenants crossing the road in front of me. I thought about plowing through, but changed my mind. Instead, I sat there, hoping the poison in my eyes communicated my displeasure. Then I saw him. A lieutenant walking by looked at me with a HUGE smile and waved. It was my Tim!!!

It was a very good day!

Waiting on “the word”
I spend a lot of time on base waiting for Tim to be cleared to leave. Sometimes it gets dark before he “gets the word.” I enjoy watching the indigenous woodland creatures. Pizza delivery cars roam the base from 1700 to 1900, and after they leave, the deer come out. You wouldn’t think the deer would want to live somewhere where every man was armed, but they do. It just goes to show you how friendly the Marines are to nature. In fact, I saw a bumper sticker that informed me that “and on the eighth day, God created the Marines.”

In Tim's Very Own Words

For me it’s always interesting looking through the weekly newsletter that Julie publishes. Although I’m aware of some of the insanity that goes on aboard base, sometimes it doesn’t hit me how life looks from the outside until I read about it after a day of training. The scary thing is, it’s all true.

For example, she mentioned the “box nasties”. In answer to the unspoken question, yes, that is the only thing the lieutenants call them. “Are they really that bad?” you may ask. The funny thing is, no, they’re not. It’s just that eating box chows is somewhat like drinking antifreeze. A little bit may be fine, but there is a physical limit your body can take before it decides it’s time to check out of life. I firmly believe that if a lieutenant were stranded on deserted island for three months with 10,000 box chows, rescuers would find him starved to death with only 12 box chows eaten. The other 9,988 boxes would be stacked neatly in nice military piles on the most remote corner of the island. (Which, believe it or not, some of the other lieutenants were doing. They had their own little box-chow collections going in certain room. I think that’s as bad as a repeat felon collecting all the hand-cuffs that have been slapped on him.)

Weird Things That We Endure in Class That Commercials Will Never Mention

-Mal-functioning thermostats in the classrooms. The only times the A/C seems to be on is when the ambient exterior temperature is less than 50 degrees. Some Marines will wear two t-shirts, a sweatshirt, etc. under their uniforms just to stay warm. Everybody shivers constantly, and that leads nicely to…

-Long classes. The Corps has a knack for taking 45-minute concepts and compressing them into 3-hour classes. Which means that we’re often cold and hungry, since the average time from breakfast until lunch is usually 7 hours.

-Obscure cleaning details. Obviously, cleaning your gear is vital. Cleaning the room is healthy. But edging sidewalks?

-Working with 60-year-old equipment. Forget museums. If you want hands-on history, ask to play with Marine communications equipment. Our motto is, if it’s not broke, don’t fix it. If it is broke, drop it and see if that fixes it. If it doesn’t, that’s why we have commo guys. Obsolete is not a word.

-Nomenclature. Just to give you the foggiest sense of what it’s like some days, here is an example of a very receivable instruction. “Get out your SL-3 gear and attach your 3-foot tape to your AN/PRC-119s and set the FCTN on LD, MODE on FH, COMSEC on CT, after which you will check your TA-312’s BA-3030 and attach the WD-1.” By the way, a BA-3030 is a D-cell battery. I respect those who work commo for their MOS.

Perspectives on training thus far
I think every officer has a moment at TBS where he thinks, “wait a minute, taxpayers are PAYING me to do this?!” For example, rifle range. Where else on earth do you get premium-grade instruction, about 200 rounds of pistol ammo, nearly 1,000 rounds of rifle ammo, a free rifle and pistol rental, a free 500-yard range, your own pit crew, night vision goggles and laser designator, an awesome tan, and you get paid for it? Or for another example, MACMAP: the Marine Corps Martial Arts Program. Learning how to be a deadly fighter with your bare hands. Which for me, having been involved in martial arts in high-school, was inherently fascinating. Although as our firearms instructor said, “if you’re having to use MACMAP in-country, that means your rifle’s empty, your pistol’s done, and your kabar’s broke.” I still loved it.

Training is not like the commercials. If you watch them too much, you get the idea that the majority of our time is spent running top speed through the woods, yelling intense commands to fellow Marines, shooting an unending supply of ammo, and taking breaks only to strike dramatic and inspirational poses in slow motion while the high-energy sound-track pounds in the background.

That’s nice and all, and while I certainly wouldn’t want to spoil anyone’s warm fuzzies whenever they watch those commercials, the truth is somewhat different. While Marines do run through the woods at top speed, that usually means they have either missed a checkpoint on Land Nav and they are now frantically trying to make it up, or they just realized that their squad moved on and they are trying to show up before the squad leader gets a count. We will yell in the woods, but we prefer to use hand signals if possible, or if that doesn’t work because the fire team leader is distracted by a bug, we will trot over and smack him to get his attention. Whenever we take breaks, it’s usually an unspoken call to drop the pack, sit down, break out the chow and continue whatever meal got interrupted on the last break, and we only strike dramatic poses when we know there’s a camera somewhere near. The closest thing we ever have to a sound-track is when the Marines across the hall have their computer speakers up too loud. That being said, we are still the most effective fighting force on the planet, and we know how to get the job done, one way or another.

Four Reasons Why it is Nice to be Married to a Marine

1. They are detail oriented

We decided to invest in a microwave and a toaster over the weekend. I chose the appliances based on the color scheme of my kitchen. Tim chose the appliances based on their watts and amenities.

2. They read directions

As soon as we brought our appliances home, I rearranged my kitchen to fit the new appliances. Tim opened the box and read the directions.

3. They give detailed instructions

“Now,” Tim said. “There are a few things you will want to notice about this microwave. First, it has a six button time selection…”

“Now,” Tim said again, “there are a few things you will want to notice about this toaster. It has a defrost selection, a bagel selection, and a reheat selection. You can reheat, defrost, and toast your bagel at the same time.”

4. They inspect what they expect

“Now,” Tim said. “It is time to test the microwave.” Tim put a cinnamon bun treat in the microwave and chose the one minute time selection button. “This is a very powerful microwave,” he said, looking at the smoke that came out.

5. They look good in uniform

They look good, and they know it. Note to unmarried girls: Marines know that they can get an easy date. The trick is to find one that wants a long-term relationship. Believe me, the good looks do not make up for the stressful life, and love is not something that you fall into, it is something that you choose.

On Camp Barrett

When I drove on base yesterday evening, the enlisted Marine checking my ID had chipmunk cheeks. I don’t know how they talk without losing their wad.

By the way, a military town is a good place to play the license plate game. I’ve seen two Hawaii plates and one Alaska plate.

Usually it is still dark out when I drop Tim off in the morning. As I drive around the loop and head back home, lieutenants in their forest camies will cross the road in front of me. Thankfully, I haven’t hit any yet.

Camies are the camouflage outfit that Marines wear. A Marine with his camies is like those Sally Secret dolls that were popular fifteen years ago. They have six pockets in their pants, and four pockets on their blouses. A pocket for the notepad, a pocket for the keys, a pocket for the cell phone, a pocket for the pen, a pocket for granola bars, and pockets for dirt samples that turn up in your washing machine.

I got to meet a Marine woman, Lori, last Friday. We went to her home for a Bible study. She was in for seven years, and retired right when her first child was ready for kindergarten. She said that the thing that confused her most was how she could get “those big guys to do what I say right away with a ‘yes ma’am’, but not my little girls.” During the Bible study, explosions in the distance shook the house. Lori explained to us that they must be doing mortars on Camp Barrett.

It is funny how we can watch NBC or CNN and know where our neighbor is. He flies on Marine One – the president’s helicopter (we haven’t met him yet - he stays with our neighbors – I guess he doesn’t need a permanent home).

There are a few ladies at church whose husbands we haven’t been able to meet because of their jobs. It’s not unusual to ask them what their husband does and find out that they don’t entirely know themselves. It seems like everyone we’ve met is either in the military or the Secret Service. We have met some nice non – military families, though. We had a lot of fun at the McCall’s house a few weeks ago – they have a daughter and a son who are toddlers. We got to eat and play games with them, and learn about child rearing. I have never stepped on so many plastic wands in my life as I did that first time we visited!

Please pray for Tim and for the other Christian guys we’ve met at TBS. They’re up against a lot more than field exercises and academics. Respect among peers is a big part of succeeding at leadership. It is difficult to know how to maintain a testimony for Christ and keep the respect of your peers.

Marines are Green

Marines are Green

Tim picked up an “Earth Friendly” shopping bag at the PX for me the other day, and here is what it says:

Marines are Earth Friendly because…
- Marines have been saving the planet for over 200 years!
- Marines are lean, GREEN fighting machines!
- In battle, Marines ALWAYS clean up!
- Marines conserve…they hit their target with the first round!
- Without nature, Marines would be visible!


Tim and I went to the Spouse’s Orientation meeting Monday of this week. The married officers in Charlie Company got to bring their wives (and two brought their husbands) to learn about resources available to families. One highlight was the question/answer time. One girl raised her hand and said,
“I’m a very career oriented person. How can I get a job where I can be promoted regularly if I’m only at a place for six months?”
Well, first of all, don’t get married, and second, don’t marry a Marine. Puuuleeease.
During the Tricare insurance brief, another girl raised her hand and asked,
“Will Tricare cover my homeopathic medications? Because of my medical condition, I need to have natural remedies.”
Tricare only covered medications that the doctors prescribed (I’m guessing they don’t prescribe natural remedies).

After the meeting, we had time to run over to DEERS to get my ID card. It was Tim’s fifth time in the place (twice for his, three times for mine). We waited two hours, but we finally got it!

I’m basically learning to expect things to take a long time and not even work the first or second time. Then, if things do work out immediately, I will be pleasantly surprised.

Tuesday morning I dropped Tim off at TBS and drove over to the Naval hospital to sign up for Tricare. It took about fifteen minutes. I was pleasantly surprised.

Garden Review

So while I was waiting for the Tricare office to open, I sat down with a gardening magazine. I came across an article about the lost gardens of Alcatraz (old run down prison in California shut down since the sixties, I think). Apparently, one of the prison’s rehabilitation programs was a gardening experience for the prisoners. They planted exotic varieties of plants around the prison. The plants are now growing wild despite being left alone for years.

Later that day, I went to pick up Tim. It was later than usual, and it had not been a good day for the officers of Charlie Company. Charlie Company had been getting an abnormal amount of parking tickets from the MPs. They decided that each individual who brought a car must have their parking job inspected. Tim was very glad that I had taken the car.

“So guess what we got to do today,” Tim said as we drove home. “We got to garden.”

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, your taxes are going to support the Marine Gardening Rehabilitation Program, for all those officers who don’t know where to park their cars.

They gardened more today, and removed a ton (literally) of dirt while doing edging work around a drain along the parade deck.

Thursday and Friday Tim does Martial Arts. I'm hoping he does a good job at blocking. Please pray for him in general this week!

What it's Like for the Husband

Here's a bit from Tim’s side

A Conversation

Last week, Tim’s BOQ room mates were comparing alcoholic drinks. Tim listened with interest throughout the conversation, and then indicated that he felt left out. Their response:

“Man! Are you allergic to alcohol or something?”
“Man! Does your wife drink?”
“Man! How did you guys find each other?”
“Didn’t you have alcohol at your wedding?”

… “Well, Horner, I guess you’re our designated driver.”

A friend described it this way – it’s a work hard, play hard mentality.

Like Tim says, these are the guys you want beside you in a war.
They’re not the guys you want to drive you home Friday night.

If you’re a dedicated Christian in the USMC, you will stick out immediately. Contrary to what you might think, being serious about what you believe and talking about it will often earn you more respect than trying to blend in.

Among the “just plain stupid” (Tim’s assessment) habits in the BOQ is chewing. That’s right – chewing – like ole grandma down on the farm. Apparently Tim’s room mates leave Gatorade bottles full of spit juice in interesting places.

And for Our Pregnant Marines…

A pregnant Marine in the MCX caught my eye last week. Like Tim pointed out, her sleeve rolls were neater than the sleeve rolls of the guy walking past her. (Note: Sleeve rolls are very important – they’re like that “Yeah, it’s got a Hemi” sticker you see on pick up trucks. If Tim were a pick up truck, his bumper sticker would say, “Yeah, It’s Got Sharp Sleeve Rolls.”)

Anyhow, I thought it was cool that this pregnant Marine had, in addition to sharp sleeve rolls, special extension buckles on her camouflage blouse, to let it out gradually for her baby.

Nineteen Dozen Cookies

Sarah and Meredith (two officer’s wives whose husbands are at TBS with Tim and who also go to our church) and I decided to make cookies together for our guys and their roommates back at the BOQ. It didn’t seem to take that long at all (it helped to have two Kitchen-Aids).

Sarah has been here for a while – her husband started before Tim. She filled us in on the-officers-wives-you’ve-probably-heard-about. These are the ladies that don’t work during the week and instead gather together to gossip with each other during the day. They “didn’t realize that their own husband would get deployed if he had a LAW CONTRACT, of all things,” and are quite upset when they realize that they can only take 3000 lbs of household belongings to Japan with them, meaning they will have to leave behind their Dyson, and that their dog will be in holding 180 days until he is declared disease free.

The Latest on the Commissary

We found that if you go shopping at 10 AM Saturday morning, the crowd is a lot smaller (almost non-existent). Of course, this may have had something to do with the fact that it was not a pay day week.

Tim starts classes for real today. Zero week is finished. Not that all the paperwork has finished processing – we’re praying that the system will hurry up and recognize Tim as active duty so we can be approved for IDs, insurance, and payroll.

The Globe and Laurel

Tim’s buddy Kyle called us up Saturday and asked if we wanted to go to a local Marine lore restaurant. He wanted to tell us about his visit with Bridget, and how they got engaged the weekend before. He is a very happy guy now.

Major Spooner, a living legend, runs the Globe and Laurel with his wife. The walls and ceiling of his restaurant are covered with WWII memorabilia – including Chesty Puller’s insignia, and some pretty cool guns, which of course I don’t remember what kind they are. They have good steak sauce, too! It is called Gung Ho, and you can buy it online at gunghosauce.com for $5 a bottle (20 oz.). I feel dumb mentioning that, because it sounds like such a guy thing, but it was really good.

The cool part was that we got to meet Major Spooner. He came out onto the back patio, saw us, and asked us if we minded if he smoked his cigar. Of course, we told him no. Then he said he would wait until I was gone (they smoke and drink, but at least the older ones are chivalrous about it). We got to say hi, so we were happy. Then, the Marine Corps Museum came and interviewed him at the table next to ours. They do this every Saturday night, apparently.

Perhaps I should mention – the reason we were on the back patio was because the inside of the restaurant was full. There was some kind of party going on, and the people were a little tipsy, so we were glad to have the outdoors all to ourselves! We did get to look around inside, though.

Sunday Lunch

Every Sunday a family in the church hosts a military lunch. Kyle, Tim, and I went, along with another enlisted Marine whose name I think is David. The father of the family is in the Air Force, and they have five children. One is in the military stationed in Germany. Their daughter, Stephanie, is our age and lives at home, so I was able to meet her. We enjoyed talking (a lot!). She works in D.C. and commutes via bus every day, which I think must take some guts. Needless to say, I am very thankful to have found some girls here that I enjoy being with.

P.S. I found out how to make a big church seem smaller – sit in the front! Just kidding. :) We have been getting to know more people every week, and the really encouraging part is that the ones we’ve already met remember us from the week before! Of course, I go through names in my head all week so I will remember, too.